Me: Yeah, I would turn gay for her.
Him: For THAT?
Me: Don't diss my baby! She's gorgeous!
Him: Well, you wouldn't be that type.
Me: What type?
Him: She's pretty butch.
Me: Wait... so what, you think I'd be some sort of prissy lipstick lesbian?
Him: Well, yeah.
Firstly, doubtful. I am the least prissy/girly person I know. I much more identify with Emma than Regina, or with Rizzoli instead of Isles, you get the picture. So... yeah. There's that.
Secondly, WHY IS EVERYONE ASSUMING I'VE TURNED GAY ALL OF A SUDDEN??!?!?!
I mean, yeah, I get that I started it with the turning comment. But this is not a new conversation with him. His scripted response is along the lines of "yeah, right, I wish" and be done with it.
And, secondly, this isn't a new thing, so why is everyone around me suddenly picking up on it? Is it because I haven't been in a relationship lately? Two years? Is there some sort of time limit? I can make as many comments about women in the media I want as long as I'm actually fucking a man at the time?
"Well, she's been single for two years. No dicks in that vagina. Obviously she's a lesbian. Break out the flannel and double ended dildos, crank up some Ellen on the tv for this one."