We went to Healesville Sanctuary today. It was more or less a really good day. More, because it's the zoo and who doesn't love the zoo? Animals and playgrounds and plantlife, oh my. Less, because I was wracked with a brain splitting migraine, left my purse at the gate and could barely stand by the time we left. Less, because maybe Healesville (with its picturesque landscapes and plantlife, birds of prey talks, and dedicate zoo keeper talks on each animal... ISN'T structured around a two year old's attention span, even if mummy and daddy want to be quiet and listen).

All in all, a good day. I think it will be a lot better once James is older and can appreciate sitting quiet and watching large birds of prey swoop and dive, or the keeper talking about koalas and playtipii.

Also, on a day where my brain decides to cleave my head in two. Yeah, that'd be a good day.

Anyways, onto about the only peoples care about a zoo trip... PHOTOS!!

( The Zoo! And other random things )

Okay, I kinda rock.

So, instead of waiting for someone to answer my craven begging... I played around with the livejournal layout ON MY OWN.

Now, yes, I know the colours are... um... striking. To say the least. But I tried to match them to the pic. Without photoshop, I'm drifting here. If I had photoshop, I'd be able to sample the colours exactly, but... meh.

And, maybe, if it wasn't 2am, I would play with it some more. BUT LOOKIT.

LOOKIT everyone. I created my very own LIVEJOURNAL LAYOUT!!!

*is so proud she could spit*

Check it out!

wily_one24 wily_one24 wily_one24

Now, remember, it's my first go. So... it's not as pretty as Rinny's old one that I've been using for a gagillion years, but I'm almost happy with it.

(of course, were someone who actually knew what they were doing to make a proper one for me, I would not say no. I would probably cry like a little girl in grateful worship).

Dear Flisters...

I'm going to beg and plead again. So, if anyone is embarrassed by that sort of thing, please turn away now.

Is there anyone out there who is creatively and graphically inclined to make lj layouts? I think it's time I updated mine. As much as I love this one, it's remained the same for several years now. I need a change.

I was thinking along the lines of something, maybe with Sheryl Crow (will provide links to my fave pics), but am open to suggestions to anyone familiar with my current fandoms.

I can trade with fic! Fic that I actually promise to write! (yadda yadda, usual stipulation re: current fandoms and pairings).

Please? Anyone?

*****************

Okay, pathetic-ness over. (maybe). You can all look again. I'm going to talk stuff at random...

( Jacqui, are you on drugs? What are you SAYING? )

So... it has become apparent to me that maybe my cat is a feline genius.

How did I come to spot this? You ask...

( Sometimes the signs are hard to miss. )

Earlier today, I made a toblerone cheesecake and some orange humbugs. It's awesome. The day's awesomeness was somewhat tempered by James giving me a horrifically bruised split lip (I swear it, he's Stewie Griffin, he's going to kill me one day), but overall I've had a good day.

Flist spam, you know, because I can...


My evening has devolved into an argument with a two year old.

James wanted a bath. Mummy wanted him to eat dinner.

J: "Bath?"
M: "Eat your dinner, please."


J: "Bath?"
M: "You have to eat more dinner, or there's nothing else."

*five minutes later*

J: "Mummy, bath please?"
M: "If you eat your dinner."

*sometime later*

J: "Bath!"
M: "Dinner!"
J: "Bath!"
M: "Dinner!"

*James scampers off. Comes back several minutes of suspicious silence later.*

J: "Mummy! Cookie and Elmo... bath!"
M: "Oh, really?"
J: "Come with me, Mummy!"

*James leads Mummy by the hand to the bath, sure enough... Cookie Monster and Elmo are both in there, chillin'.*

J: "Oh, so now you've got your friends to gang up on me, too? Wonderful."


************************************

On an unrelated note. How has there not been an explosion of Claire/Tracy fic?

Okay, so... I have the day off, I finally got my massage (yay!), the house is clean, I've cooked and eaten a leisurely, proper healthy lunch... and it's only 12:30pm. So, I figured I'd go see a movie, spoil myself!

Self, I said, go see a movie. Check online to see what your options are...

So I did.

This is what I have to choose from:

- Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs (the fuck?)
- Amelia (the life and times of Amelia Earhart... um... interesting, I'm sure, but... no)
- 2012 (nope)
- Astroboy (I'll punch you)
- Couples Retreat (already seen it)
- Saw VI (I stopped at III for a reason, peoples)
- This Is It (Yeah, yeah, he's a genius, I don't care, don't wanna see it)
- Time Travellers Wife (yay pedophilia!... again, no thank you)
- Twilight Saga: New Moon (oh, gag... seriously, I will cut a bitch)
- A Christmas Carol (um... how has Mr. Carey not been asassinated by now? How?)


Aaaaaaaanyway... the upshot? No movies for Jacqui.

*pout*

So... uh... what do people do when there are no tasks to be done, no kids to chase and no jobs? How is it that I've forgotten this? How?

A little adendum to my previous meme...


I found something creepy!

John Lithgow in Dexter.

Seriously.

Eh, I've been pretty quiet lately, mostly because I've been violently ill Monday and Tuesday. Woooooo! Luckily (!!!!!!!) this is my week off, I'm on holidays, so I didn't have to cancel work or anything. Um... yay?

On the upside, today being one of my Jacqui-only days (wherein I'm not working and James is in childcare), I wasn't sick... but I did spend it doing stuff for other people! Yay again!

Firstly, I went to the doctors (okay, yeah, this was for me, but yuck) for one of those lovely, beautiful pap smear things, and a few other niggly prescriptions and what not. And he also jabbed me with a swine flu vaccination. Thanks doc! Oh, he did manage to say that my cervix looked "off", but that in most cases it turned out to be nothing. We'd wait until he got the results and, if it *is* something, he would call me straight away.

Gee, thanks again, Doc.

Then I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning and cooking and preparing for a barbeque we're having here for Anthony's friends. Lovely. I had planned to make a toblerone cheesecake, but was then stymied by one of the friends who said he was bringing a cheesecake (what the hell am I gonna do with all this cream cheese and toblerone bars? I ask you). So I decided to make my german potato salad with bacon and mustard seeds. Mmmmm. Baaaaaaacon.

I'm exhausted and nobody's even here yet. Eh.

Anyways, I was tagged in a meme by tiguhgirl, so here goes (I'm too exhausted to tag peoples, but most of my flist has already been tagged anyway, and if you want to do it, please go right ahead. OPEN TAG!!

FIRST: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.


Who sleeps in bed next to you?
My husband, usually my cat, and often my son. There were four in the bed...

What did you last eat?
Um... a chicken wrap for lunch.

What kind of books do you read?
Ones with words... honestly. I used to be an avaricious reader and would read anything I coudl get my hands on... now I mostly trawl through fic sites (ugh, my life has gotten sad). I have just bought a book written by one of my uni lecturers and I'm very excited to read it.

What are you reading right now?
Strangely... a book by my old uni lecturer, called "Swimming". Also, "Language of the Feet", an old reflexology text book. It's awesome.

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?
Taking my family on a visit to QLD. I want to take James on holiday!! Or... barring that... somewhere tropical and beachy.

What's really creepy?
My mind is running a blank here. Um... creepy stuff? Sorry, FIRE BAD, TREE PRETTY.

Name one odd item within five feet of you.
My cat? Wait, that doesn't count? Um... my Hello Kitty ballerina doll that hovers through magnetism. That's... odd. But pretty.

What's your current fandom / obsession / addiction?
GLEE!!!!! (always in caps, always with exclamation marks), Nurse Jackie, Dollhouse, Heroes, The Office, Lost (where are you?).

What did you really want to do today that you didn't?
Get a massage. TOMORROW, dammmit, I swear! (I've had this massage voucher since my birthday in May and I haven't been able to use it yet, damn bbq, I will use it tomorrow if it kills me!). Get my dress altered (it's held together with safety pins right now).

What are you most excited for?<
Christmas, sharing it with James. Paying of my credit (damn cars needing fixing, or it would be done by now).

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
My yahoo mail, livejournal, facebook. In that order.

What was the last thing you bought?
Non exciting? Safety pins, garbage bags and steaks.
Exciting? A book! (see above).

What do you want right this minute, off the top of your head?
Sleep (followed in a close second by Toblerone Cheesecake).

**Okay, I'm getting rid of the tootsie roll question. Because we don't have them here in Aust and I originally thought they were like a twinkie type thing, but that licking question made absolutely NO SENSE if that's the case. Weird. Hey, this can be my creepy thing!

Are there any bits of childhood that you miss?
YES! Where my parents paid for everything and I had NO BILLS!!! (I shall keep this answer, for I am lazy)

Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter?
Spring/Summer

Is there anything you regret in this lifetime?

Not finishing my degree when I had the chance.

What music are you listening to right now?

The Glee soundtrack! (official and non-official), "The Boy Does Nothing" - Alesha Dixon, rnadom various things on my iPod.

Viola, meme done!

Well, ya might.



( Summer, sun, cousins and a surprising famous guest! )

Picnic with friends on a sunny day? Check.

Smartass two year old? Check.

I was helping little Misha down some steps...

Misha's mummy: "Say 'thank you, Jacqui'."
Misha: "Thank you, Jacqui."

*James goes down same steps, gets help from mummy, looks up and smirks with perfect smartass inflection*

James: Thank you, JA-CQUI.

Jacqui: I'm glad you said thank you, but you can say 'thank you, MUMMY!'."

*grabs her son for a round of death-by-tickle*

Questions, as asked by candlewaxdreams

1. Tell me your favorite thing about living in Australia, and would you ever live anywhere else?

I don't know if there's any one thing, really. It's all of it. I guess it would have to boil down to the fact that we're such a laid back, easy going, friendly country. We have everything we need in abundance. It's easy to be yourself, to be different, to take a chance and do what you want. It may not be easy to have everything, but it's possible to achieve a great deal of your goals if you're willing to work for it.

edit: and no, no I would never live anywhere else.

2. What is the best thing about being a mother?

I can't cheat and say everything? Honestly, I would have to say the unconditional, unquestioning love of another being. James can spend four hours running away from me, saying "no" to anything I suggest, but you can bet on the fact that if he knocks his knee, or falls over, or feels tired... I'm the first one he comes to. Hugs and snuggles and kisses come unabashed, unasked for, uncensored. I can pick him up at random, any time of the day, and tickle him, kiss his face, cheek, neck, back, tummy, make him incoherent with giggles, and it's all ok. It's welcomed.

William Thackery said "Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of little children". And, as egotistical as it sounds, it's true. There is nothing that a cuddle from Mummy can't fix, no injury Mummy can't kiss better, no hot food Mummy can't blow on to cool it down.

It's true, a toddler (any child, really) takes and takes and takes without reservation, great big greedy handfuls of time and energy and patience until you want to tear out your hair, but it's a double sided coin, because they give back without restraint.

It's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. Cliched, yes, but true.

3. What superpower would you want?

I want regeneration. Nothing as banal as flying. If I get to choose, I want to be unreservedly healthy and unharmed.

4. Favorite childhood memory?

See, now you're asking me to do the impossible. I have many good childhood memories and if you ask me again tomorrow my answer will be different. How do I chose? At what stage of childhood? There's many factors here.

But this is the one that springs to mind right now:

I must have been about three or four. My mother had taken us girls (my two sisters and I) to town and while we were there we'd visited a sweet shop. We'd been able to buy a little thing and I think we got a little tube of smarties (M&M type choc buttons), wherein the tube had a face and legs and arms and yadda, yadda. Kid things. Anyways, my sisters being older than me made me share mine, so I did handing them out. But when it came time for them, they took their sweets and retreated to the far ends of the earth. I got nothing. Understandably, I was very upset and went crying to my mum.

She sat me on her knee and showed me a magic trick involving some words I can't remember and closing my eyes. And, BAM, when I opened my eyes again, the little tube of sweets had been filled to the top again.

Magic (and the foresight of a mother who knew her two eldest daughters and their dastardly deeds).

5. What is your favorite L/V fic that you did not write and why?

This, I think, is the hardest question you've asked. Because fic is a mood thing. I have several 'favourites' and it really all depends on what kind of mood I'm in, how much time I have, etc. So I shall just name a few of the classics...

--> "Hollywood Makeover". Not so much L/V, but still an awesome fic. It's great both in terms of humour, but also on the deeper levels.

--> "Keeping Count of Broken Promises". Still the only fic to ever make me cry. I bet you can't figure out when. Although, sometimes getting too bogged down in the "Veronica is a bitch" wave, overall a great fic with some great emotional development and lots of smut (we like smut!).

--> "When the Cuddling Isn't the Best Part". Hoooooomgyod. Do I need to explain this one? Characterization. Emotional Development. Angst. SMUT! Jesus, the smut!

--> "Purple Monkey Dishwasher". The most bizzare and yet, most awesome fic to ever be written or read.

--> "Revision to the Status Quo" and all accompanying fics in the series therein (I still have to repost these, dammit, I am lazy). It's so well written that I almost wish it had gone down this way.

*****


For completely random purposes... James had a picnic with his girlfriend today. Awwww. James and Misha... feasting!

I am constantly amazed by the immaturity of some people.

Long live livejournal, you're too good for some.

Photos of James...

Who'd have thunk it?



( Help me, my mother has turned into the paparazzi. STOP TAKING MY PHOTO, MUMMY! )

So... that makes car crash #3 today. Hey, universe, STOP IT, ok? Honestly. I've had enough, I can't deal with this shit anymore. ENOUGH.

( James Vs Truck )

Dollhouse.

Wow. Depressing.

And completely contradictory.

I like the new emotional depth. Poor... (that person) and poor (that other person).

But also? Yay (that person) for doing (that thing) for (yet another person). I knew you would be the one. They should have turned to you first.

Where is Amy Acker? *pout*

Yay to Adelle for saying that to Topher about Dr. Saunders. Boo to Adelle for breaking him a little bit more.

So, there's a Wiggles cartoon in which cartoon Murray milks a cartoon cow... as follows:



To which James points and happily declares "Penis!"

Me: "No. No, James, that's not..."
James: "Cow, penis!"
Me: "Really, no. That's an udder. That's where milk comes from."

God knows what he thought Murray was DOING to the poor cow.


*falls in heap, laughing*

*huddles in corder, hands over head, rocking back and forth, humming... AVOIDING SPOILERS!**


Not naming names, but please people, remember those less fortunate than yourselves who have to wait hours or days to watch things that you see automatically.

*whimpers*

Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me... Can't sleep, spoiler will eat me...

You wanna know what makes a mother's heart swell?

When her son says the words "I love you, ice-ceeem" BEFORE he says "I love you, mummy".

That's awesome. It makes it all worth it, it really does. THANKS, James, for making me feel so special.

;D

Heee.

Ok, minute 19:15 and I have to pause until I finish laughing.

I love my GLEE!!

( GLEE! )

Oh, dear lord, sorry peoples for not policing my lj-cuts better. Hope I didn't spoil someone!

Lookit, lookit, lookit!!

I have a new favourite dress!

I just bought this dress on eBay the other day (Sunday night) and it arrived already! It's Tuesday!

AND... it's gorgeous. It's beautiful. It's... oh, it fits so nicely. And it's all swirly and pretty and it comes in at the waist and flares out at the skirt... I look like a 60's housewife. It feels awesome and I can't wait for summer! BRING IT ON! I want to live in this dress.

It's a designer dress that retails at $300, I got it for $50 (my eBay splurges are usually limited to $20, but I couldn't resist, I fell in love). Bargain. You can tell it's good quality by how it's cut and how it sits so nicely.

It's not the best photo, but lookit...




*bouncebouncebouncebounce*